People are so fickle. One minute people love you and the next minute they hate you. It doesn’t take much for people to change their minds about you. It can be so quick the way they do it. On Monday, they will love you to life and by Thursday, you’ll be invisible to them. Why am I talking about this? I’m bringing light to this to remind you that sometimes you just can’t live up to people’s expectations, and that’s okay.
Let me say that again: you can NOT always live up to other people’s expectations for you, and that’s okay.
When we fail to live up to the way other folks want us to live, we will find ourselves wondering if we ever knew folk in the first place. This is why I want to talk about this. We don’t have to know people, we simply have to know ourselves.
This is what I’ve learned over the years about dealing with fickle folks:
1. You can’t put all your trust in people. You have to be careful with who you share your dreams with, share your aspirations with, tell your secrets to, and who you listen to. For me, I confess, that I’m a validation seeker. I seek out validation from other people. We all do it sometimes. I can seek validation more than most though. However, even in my validation needs, I know what God has gifted me to do. You should know the gift God has given you and stand firm in that gift. As a Christian, I believe God has given me a purpose and plan for my life, and He’s got my back. Even if folks are fickle, God is not.
2. Don’t allow them to stop you from sharing your testimony and story. I hope that sharing my story and life experiences are changing lives and helping those who find themselves reading my writing—-just like you. If I worried about how people felt about me and let it stop me from writing, I would be choosing not to do what God called me to do and ultimately not helping others, including you. I had a situation happen recently, and I wasn’t at fault; but, an offense happened. The other person was offended with me. I wrestled with how to handle the situation. I wanted to know how to rectify the situation. To this day, I haven’t done anything to rectify the situation. I decided instead to pray and look within. I prayed and asked God to show me, me. Maybe it is something in me that needs to be shifted, changed, or removed. I’m all for reflecting on my own heart and clearing out what shouldn’t be there.
3. They are often attracted to others who aren’t being true to themselves. Be true to YOURSELF. Be true to YOURSELF. Do you, boo. When I’m not truly being myself, I find myself not being able to live up to the expectations of others because I end up trying to be a different person in front of everyone. Maybe the same thing is happening to you, maybe not. If you find yourself hiding who you really are and then being upset when others won’t accept YOU when you let a little of your true self out, you have to let that go. To keep some of the fickle folks away (now, you can’t keep them all at bay), always show others who you really are. Be the mom you are to your kids. Be the professional you are to your clients. As an attorney, there are so many other attorneys in this field with me. I have to be myself in this field, so I can attract the right people. In my 30 years, I am now starting to be me. I’m owning my truth and working to ward off the fickle people.
4. STOP watching those people and live OUT LOUD. Live in color. Do what you have been called to do regardless if they like you on Monday and hate you on Thursday. I am learning this lesson the most: when I watch the fickle folk, I ALMOST make decisions that are detrimental to my purpose. So, here’s a truth. I ALMOST shut down this blog a few months ago. I didn’t have time, and I wasn’t sure if anyone was even reading this stuff. I would get fifty reads on one post and zero on another (because people are fickle…LOL). I thought “well I should just stop doing this and work on my law firm”. Then one day, I got an email from someone who thanked me for writing about infertility and motherhood, and I realized that I can’t stop what I’m doing. In my culture, we don’t talk about the depression that accompanies infertility and the difficulties of motherhood. BUT, God has given me that charge, and I’m going to live it OUT LOUD.
So, I’ll end with this: folks are fickle, God is not, and you have to keep living and doing what you are meant to do on this earth, my friend. Find you a few good connections (shout out to my Florida friend who allows me to cry on her shoulder and vent in her ears), and keep on keeping on.