Happy birthday to meeeeeee!!! Today your girl is the big 3-8! Lawd… only two more years until I turn for—… you know what… I ain’t gonna say it. Not yet. Let me enjoy being 38. I know people love to share what they have learned over their years on this earth. And I will not be any different. LOL! But instead of 38 things, I’m going to share one thing over the next 38 weeks. Because somethings are worth expanding upon and having a conversation about.

  • Saying no is really not that hard.

As a recovering people pleaser, saying the word “no” was problematic. Scratch that. It was painful for me. The thought of saying it used to cause a physical reaction because I was too concerned with hurting, angering, or disappointing another person. However, those feelings or thoughts were rooted in my own insecurities and honestly not valid. For a long time, I said “yes” to my own detriment.

Through therapy—shoutout to my amazing therapist— I began to see the beauty in saying “no”. First, it has helped me to communicate my boundary clearly with others. Second, I have removed my emotion from the request/situation to process what is being asked of me fully. Lastly, I created a list of questions to help me process and take at least 24-48 hours to think about everything. I got this idea from Luvvie, and I thought it was golden! Here are the questions I ask myself (feel free to use these):