Hey everyone! I hope your day has been fantastic. Even if your day was not as you planned, remember that your life could be so much worse. I had to tell myself that a few times today. Today was not my day, and not because it was Monday. It was not a horrible day, by any means. It was just one of those days.
Anyway, last week I faced one of my fears. I stepped out and auditioned for my church’s praise and worship team. My nerves were on 10! But I did it! I stepped out and confronted my fear. I do not profess to be the best singer, but I can hold a note or two. If I had to give an honest assessment of my audition, I am not sure I can confidentially say I did my best. My nerves were bad. But again… I stepped out and confronted my fear.
One reason I was nervous, was because I was singing a genre of music that I am not accustomed to. My church sings contemporary Christian music, and I have a true gospel background. In my mind, it is the equivalent of singing R&B, but then switching to country music. It is just different. Another reason I was nervous, was because I have not sung in years. I used to take vocal lessons, but I stopped as my life got busy. So I was a tad rusty. Finally, my nerves were on 10 because I had a week to get my life together. In the midst of the rehearsing (or the lack thereof), I had to take care of Beans, do online training, and all the other life moments that come with being a wife and a mother.
But I did it, and for that, I give myself a gold star. Oftentimes, we get in our own way and do not turn our dreams into reality. I have missed out on a few opportunities because fear has paralyzed me. Fear of failure is always present, but I have a fear of being successful. It is self-sabotaging. As a Christian, I am aware that God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind (II Tim. 1:7; emphasis mine). The latter is what I struggle with. In my mind, I create several “what if” scenarios. By the time I have finished going through the good, bad, and ugly, my dream has shattered into a million pieces. But faith without works is considered dead, and without faith, it is impossible to please God (James 2:17; Hebrews 11:6).
So what is a girl to do? This girl auditions for the praise team. If I make it, cool. If I don’t make it, it is still cool. This girl writes an NYT best selling novel (speaking it into existence). But what if it doesn’t? That is okay because I can officially say that I am an author. Basically, no matter the outcome, it is still all good. God is still faithful, and I am still blessed. All I have to do is face my fear. How has fear paralyzed you? What are you going to do to face your fears?
Nisia Skyy
P.S. Thanks to Peanut’s mama for this week’s posts. You are the real MVP!
P.P.S. I will know later in the week if I made the team or not. I will let you all know either way because I know you want to know. Lol 🙂