This October my husband and I will celebrate five years of marriage. In today’s society making it this long is a blessing. It seems as if celebrities and non-celebrities alike don’t seem to be lasting the first two years. Some notable celebrities have made it 72 days…
Look marriage is not for the weak at heart. It takes work, wisdom, patience, and perseverance. Yes, love is a key component. But love does not pay bills. The creditors will not accept your love as payment. You are going to have work on making your marriage work, with someone who WANTS to work with you. There will be times you are going to look at your spouse as if they have two talking heads, and you are trying to decide which one to chop off first. You should want a partner that can weather the storm with you because if you live long enough life will happen. I don’t profess to have any keys to making a marriage last. I have not been married long enough, but I am thankful for the positive examples I have around me that encourage me to keep pushing forward.
Here are a few nuggets I have learned along the way:
1) Stop comparing your relationship to others. Your marriage will be different from your parents, friends, and associates. What works for y’all, may not work for others. As long as no one is hurting the other person, your marriage should be fine.
2) Along the same lines, be mindful of who you share your business with. That includes family, best friends, and all those in between. If you must talk to someone and cannot find a good marriage counselor, then I highly recommend talking with someone who has good sense. Someone who actually LOVES and LIKES the person that they are married to. Stay away from your single friends, bitter married folks, and bitterly divorced folks. Very far!
3) Prior to getting married, vet the person you are going to marry. Learn from the recent woes of our beloved Rudy (Keisha Knight Pulliam). Smh… Take the time to get to know someone before making such a huge undertaking. Do not ignore the red flags. A person is not going to all of a sudden change because you exchange vows. If he is controlling now, he will continue to control after you get married. If she is disrespecting you now, it will only get worse after the vows.
4) Finally, do not let what you see in the movies or on television dictate your relationship. Real-life doesn’t always play out the way we see on the screen.
Do you agree with any of the listed nuggets? What have you learned along the way? Feel free to share in the comments.