Happy Monday everyone! I hope you all have had an amazing day and weekend. I had a great weekend. Matter of fact after attending my church for the past six years, my husband and I finally finished our church’s Growth Track plan. The Growth Track is a 4-week class that helps to introduce the church’s philosophy and structure. It also helps to identify your spiritual gifts; with the hope of helping discover your purpose. Since having Beans, I have been on a quest to discover my purpose, and what can I do to help leave my mark on this Earth.
One of the things, I have come to realize is that I will start something and not finish. I will be so excited about my new venture or idea. I will get things in motion and start working toward the goal. However, midway through the fire begins to fizzle and then I stop. For the life of me, I cannot figure out why I can’t get out of my own way. Why I am afraid of committing to completing a task? I think some of the reservations deal with not wanting to put myself out there for any one’s opinion, embarrassment if I fail at the task, and completely missing the mark. For example, I have been working on my novel for the past four years now. I know that some great novels have been birthed after years of working on them. But I feel like I should done writing it by now. Then I read how hard it is to get published, how hard it is to market, how hard it is to get people to support you, etc. The list can go on. And like that. I have talked myself out of completing the task. I have allowed my mind to go into a negative space and accepted defeat but I haven’t even go out to battle.
I go through the same steps of 1) excitement; 2) researching said passion project (still excited); 3) start working on said work project (still excited); 4) do some more research- start seeing negative reviews, articles, etc. (excitement starts to dwindle); 5) “something” happens and now I am distracted; 6) stop working on the project. It is a vicious cycle. I have been blessed to witness some of my close friends become successful. I know the obstacles they have overcome. I see the hard work they have put in to get to where they are now. Keyword: hard work. They never stopped despite the obstacles they faced along the way. I mean some did. But they picked back up the pieces and kept going.
But I think I owe it to myself to keep pushing… Keep discovering and learning. First, I am going to finish my novel and then I am going to go get active in my church. I will share with you all after next week what ministry I will be joining. 🙂
Have any of you ever felt this way? How did you overcome it?
Nisia Skyy